Don't Force Change. Nurture Change.

Bribing seems to be a good way to make a person do what we desire. We can lure children into eating healthy foods by saying that it is sweet and tasty, or bait them to study harder for an exam by rewarding them for a better grade.

"My child never listens and is not interested in anything; he has no desire. I cannot make him do anything."


If a particular behavior attracted the right type of rewards, it had a high probability of being repeated (Schacter, Daniel L., and Gilbert Daniel, 2011).

Unless the child has no behavior at all, such as sleeping all day or having no desire to eat, he or she must like or be interested in something for certain behavior to occur.

For example, children like to eat candy because candy has sugar and it tastes good. Getting candy in any way they can is motivated by the sweet tastiness. Another example, with parent’s encouragement, children tend to overcome difficulties. Gritting is motivated by parents' encouragement.

In simple, if a proper reward is presented after the behavior, that behavior will occur often..

The problem is, what are the proper rewards for each unique child? Because each one of us is attracted toward something different in different degrees.


According to Schacter, Daniel L., and Gilbert Daniel, if a particular behavior attracted the right type of rewards, it had a high probability of being repeated. By definition, something that is given after the behavior increases the frequency of such behavior.

In psychology, the reward is called a “reinforcer.”

A reinforcer is something that increases the likelihood that a specific behavior or response will occur. A positive (+) reinforcer is something that is given to increase a desirable behavior; while a negative (-) reinforcer is something that is reduced to increase a desirable behavior. See the diagram below to understand the very basic mechanism of how reinforcement works for animals and humans alike.





Some parents doubt the effectiveness of reinforcers, stating that the whole theory is a flaw. However, it must be understood that reinforcers should be applied ONLY when the frequency of the desire